![]() PlayĮr… After doing a discount double-check, maybe it’s not such a bad thing that the movie didn’t get made after all. According to Smigel, some of the sight gags in an Aaron Rodgers State Farm commercial (for example, Hans and Franz waterskiing behind a superhuman Rodgers, swimming in for Arnold) were borrowed from the abandoned screenplay. It’s a shame we never got to see the movie’s steroid-fueled jokes - but in a way, we did. When it tanked, Nealon says, Ah-nuld “opted not to do this one.” That film was Schwarzenegger’s first attempt to parody his overly serious film persona, and it was expected to be huge at the box office (as evidenced by the boatloads of Last Action Hero toys available on the cheap on eBay ). The pieces were in place for the SNL sketch characters to pummel their way to the big screen until disaster happened - in the form of 1993’s The Last Action Hero. Schwarzenegger was set to play himself and, in his own Madea moment, Hans and Franz’s outrageously muscled grandmother. One song would have been a parody of West Side Story’s “Cool,” with Schwarzenegger’s pectoral muscles flexing to the beat. ![]() The two weightlifters would live in the fictional Little Austria section of New York City with lush, Sound of Music-style rolling hills somehow nestled between subway stops, revealed Smigel on a taped Con an segment in 2015. The movie, at different times titled Hans and Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma and Hans and Franz Go to Hollywood, also would have been a musical. I ’ d see these streaks of chicken grease all over my screen.” I remember he would always be eating greasy chicken and he liked to touch the screen of the computer. “It was my laptop - Smigel would want to be the writer, and I would throw ideas around with him. But with Conan pulling double-duty on The Simpsons and Carvey on another project, the heavy lifting was left to “me and Smigel a lot of the time,” Nealon says. With the comedy-writing heavyweights behind the proposed movie, no wonder - Nealon developed the screenplay with the aid of Dana Carvey, Robert Smigel and Conan O’Brien. But now, hear this: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday.Schwarzenegger was such a big fan, in fact, that he wanted to co-produce a Hans and Franz movie, Nealon recently told Entertainment Weekly. You’ve given us something to hear now, and something to think about later.Īrnold Schwartzenegger: Ya. ![]() Listen to me now, and beleive me later: it doesn’t matter how much you pump up those muscles, as long as you reach the full pumptential. But don’t be downing yourself too much now. You know, you could very easily flick us with your ltitlest finger, and send us flying across the room until we landed in our own baby poop.Īrnold Schwartzenegger: I know. And not even the grown-up kind, the little baby losers. And believe me- What’s the matter?įranz: It’s no use, Arnold. You huys are lucky you don’t have a campfire here in the background. 99.1K subscribers 257K views 5 years ago Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon Open the First Arnold Classic with their classic SNL characters. Oh, come on, you make me sick! And look at those legs, they look like little skinny sticks! And those buttocks. Like this That’s the way to do it! Look at you guys, how pitiful losers you are! You know something? I hate the way you guys talk! What’s the matter with you? I mean, I sent you over here from Austria, to become real hard-core terminators, and look what you are – little termites! I wanted you to become real running men but you are girly-men. Hans: Hey, Arnold, look at this! įranz: Ya! Lok at this! Īrnold Schwartzenegger: Oh, you guys make me sick. Hans: Oh, Arnold, I can’t believe how properly pumped up you really are!įranz: Ya! You are the embodiment of perfect pumpitude!Īrnold Schwartzenegger: No, no, no. Hans: I don’t believe this! Oh no, I can’t believe it!Īrnold Schwartzenegger: Hello, hello. Victor: He did! He said he might drop by. You’d better not be pulling my rock-hard leg. Hans: Oh, don’t-don’t-don’t be joking us.įranz: Ya. Your cousin Arnold Schwartzenegger came by today.
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